To wrap anyone’s mind around the marvelous complexity of human attention, it helps to zoom in on its smaller components. One such part is our orienting system, better known as our attentional “flashlight.”

We can use a flashlight as a metaphor for the subset of our attention system we use to select, prioritize and focus on certain information over other information.

The mighty flashlight

When I was teaching, I mostly valued the “flashlight” component of attention for its use in staying on task in the service of thinking and learning. But the ability to focus on one thing while dimming distractions has powerful implications across cognitive, social and emotional domains.

It absolutely is essential for tracking a train of thought, but it’s useful for being genuinely present with other people and ourselves, too. We use it to focus inward and sense our feelings. And feelings are essential inputs that shape how we form relationships, find meaning, reinforce learning, experience joy and make decisions.

Our flashlight also allows us to time travel—a uniquely human capacity. We can dim the present moment to focus back on the past, accessing memories to inform how we want to behave now or in the future. Or we can point it forward to plan, problem-solve and imagine outcomes. All of it in service of how we think, act and feel.

How our flashlight is vulnerable

The trick is, our flashlight is, by design, susceptible to both distraction and hyper focus. This can be a great thing, if and when whatever captures our attention matches our overall values, wishes, and need for healthy balance. But when it doesn’t, our flashlight can lead us off course. This danger is especially real in the “attention economy,” where the products we interact with every day are specifically designed to hijack our attention.

Helping kids become aware of their flashlight

Chat about it. Make sure kids have an general understanding of attention, then ask things like:

• Do you ever sense the flashlight part of your attention at work?

• What do you find yourself pointing your flashlight at in school? At home?

Use the language. Every once in a while, when someone gets clearly distracted in a notable way, you can ask: “Hey, is your flashlight on something else (other than this conversation)?” Make proactive suggestions like, “No phones at dinner — let’s keep our flashlights on the conversation.” Or model your own awareness: “Sorry, can you say that again? My flashlight was still pointed at work.”

How to strengthen kids’ hold on their flashlight

Once kids tune into their flashlight, they can start to sense when they are focused, when their focus has shifted, and what tends to pull it away.

It can help to remember that we most naturally attend to what feels salient to us personally, and it takes less effort to stay engaged in things that matter to us.

One of my favorite ways to strengthen kids’ flashlights is through savoring — purposefully pointing your attention at things that interest, uplift, and add positivity to your consciousness. It’s more than “think happy thoughts.” It’s slowing down to actively focus on uplifting moments, or to replay memories of moments that moved you. Savoring is a genuine attentional workout, not to mention a superb antidote to anxiety.

Savoring outdoors

Nature is an ideal place to savor. All of our senses activate outside, and there are infinite wonders to notice. Plus, you don’t need to go deep into the forest. Nature is everywhere.

A few easy ways to help kids savor outside:

Zoom in on things, especially the small but remarkable ones. Nature is full of stunning, sensory wonders. The patterns in ice, the iridescent exoskeleton of a beetle, the fractals in a fern, the death defying leaps taken by a squirrel. It may seem silly, but looking through binoculars (even the toilet paper tube version) or simple picture frames can help kids zoom in on wonders in the woods. Hunts like this scavenger hunt can also help kids turn on their flashlight, not to mention their floodlight.

Take your shoes off. Move slowly over whatever’s underfoot and savor with curiosity what it feels like. You’re never more grounded and present than when your bare feet touch the earth. It may seem extreme for kids (and you!). But, that only adds to the feeling that this experience is novel and attention-worthy (just the thing our flashlights are drawn to!).

Bring a camera, but take only one photo. Before you head out for a hike or walk outside, declare it a “savoring walk” and agree to take “only one photo.” As you walk, you can notice and discuss things you see. As you discuss why certain things could be “the photo,” your flashlight will naturally zoom in on what is uplifting about whatever you notice.

Research shows that when we photograph experiences, we tend to remember them less — the opposite of savoring. But, looking carefully for what’s worthy of “one special photo” puts us into savor mode. And purposefully limiting to one saves us from getting lost in the phone. [Huge thanks to friend and digital wellness expert, Amy Blankson for this marvelous idea!]

Savor at bedtime

This is a true favorite, learned from adolescent development expert Ron Dahl, and it’s become a nightly ritual we wouldn’t skip.

When she’s getting into bed, one of us sits with our youngest as she reviews the events of her day, a single question in mind: What moment(s) felt uplifting? Then she picks one and slows down to recall as much detail as she can (her flashlight at work!).

On the rare day when it’s hard to find an uplift, she can reach back to another day and zoom in on a different memory.

This is different from the far more generic “think happy thoughts.” Savoring is not a search for hypotheticals. It’s using your flashlight to revisit life and linger in the moments that genuinely lifted you — encoding them, strengthening them, making them easier to return to.

And here’s the beautiful thing: the more we practice pointing our flashlight toward what uplifts us, the more natural it becomes. That’s not just a nice habit. It’s a skill that, with practice, kids can carry with them long after we are right there to tuck them in.

Mindfulness

In addition to these simple strategies for sensing our flashlights, practices that cultivate present-moment awareness are shown to support attention. Look out for articles that dive deeper into specific mindfulness techniques that are proven boost our attention system and ability to be present. And all with tips on how to help tweens and teens learn (and want) to incorporate these strategies into their day to day.

Keep in touch!

Try these and let us know how they go. Find other ways to flex your flashlight with kids and share—help us keep learning!

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